lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
-12:43 AM
today woke up with a fear.. fear to meet coach ltr on.. i had coaching in clementi town today. i met coach, he didnt say aniting.. he didnt say much to mi. i mean he nv tok much to mi. i'm juz quiet the whole training.. during one of the breaks, he ask mi.. "r u in a bad mood? u dun seem to smile like u used to be." Onli then i realised.. i nv truely smile for some time le.. of cos aft tt he nv tok to mi le.. i wan to smile like i used to be.. dear say i muz move on. i had to. i m trying ba.. trying to stop tinkin abt the past.. tryin to stop tinkin... aft trainin coach normally will ask mi to drink n tok to mi but today he nv, he say he meeting other ppl then walk off liao.. i stil got to meet him on wed n thurs.. oh my.. haiz.. muz try to DUN CARE~!!!!!!!!
weiyan jia u!!!!
Dear and bro.. muz JIA U for ur youth cup k? i'll b watching every match of urs!! JIA U~!
although we may not speak to each other animore... although i m sad.. but to mi, all of u will always b in my heart.. jia u ba... quan yan..............................................
Sunday, May 28, 2006
-3:10 AM
i tot today was a great day for mi.. but it turn out to b the worst...
iwent to meet dear aft so long of not meeting up. i juz met her for lunch then got to go off for U14 training. during my lovel lunch i recieved a msg saying that they r unable to cum for our training. "....DAMN IT" was wat i sms back. we had training at 4pm initially, then . called mi to tell mi tt they r cuming the day b4.. n ask mi switch the training back to 6pm. i was so incredibly happi.. overwhelm~! then i settled everyting n on tt day 2 hrs b4 4pm, . sms mi n say they are not cuming le. n i've got to switch back training to 4pm bcos we do not haf enuff ppl to train. i called every1 but lots of them didnt pick up the phone. i tot it's ok since we haf the u14 ppls. but.... wat the ****! onli 2 turn up.. none of those whu not turning up tell mi. great. when i callled ppl to call them then they say parents dun allow.. but i did ask someone to confirm the no of ppl cuming le.. not there's onli 2 ppl!!! plus mi, ching hui n pebble.. we onli got 5 ppl.. IMAGINE 5 ppl trying to train? ok for coach side u shld noe his reaction. he SCOLDED mi for sure.. i hate to take all e blames when it;s not mi... i juz hate it... but we had fun despite all tt cos i was like crazy and we play half court. aft tt Tet n joyce came. sian. when we went to eat dinner, we past hkn cc court where e boys r training too, coach told us to suspend all our trainings. he's angry n i m too..
i cried but tis time i felt better as i haf decided on tings. ppl change n i noe. too tired to witness everyting le. i wish i m tt changing party n let them see how i feel rite now. it's no longer the same animore. i teared everytime i pass kallang.. memories juz came to mi.. i teared when i look at the stars.. as we say it's memories liao.. let it b memories.. good memories which i'll not forget.. thanks. =) so juz leave.. the moment u all got the thought of leaving.. everyting juz izzit the same animore.. we r juz not good for u all. once u all leave i'll not play ball animore. mayb for leisure but not as a team animore.. i'll leave for good. i'll not see ani bb match unless it's dear's. no more.. i'll leave quietly n make sure i wont b found by all of u.. mayb u all will say tt i'm selfish cos i didnt wan to let u all go..but u all are too.. aint u? u all came n shone us with hope.. u all once again burn my passion again... n now u all leave n took the light frm mi.. n make mi hate basketball.... i'm selfish too. i'm human. u al ask mi to join u all but i will join for the sake of u all but we aint the same animore... wat's the point? look at all of u.. haf u tot of our gang? NO. thanks for tt.. thanks for hurting mi. it's no longer tt gang le.
i had my wall pasted with a black board full of our gang's pics. the time when we had fun.. now i feel like tearing them apart. but i'll juz leave them there for the moment ba. i'm so tired. i'm trying to move on nw. dun bother mi, i wish i nv noe all of u. i wish u all nv had came.. but hope dear's not offended bt this... i'm not saying u. =)
ok.. my com is officially dead but revived for this moment onli.. mayb it took pity on mi n let to type ba.. hahaha... so i wont b blogging tt often cos muz see my com's mood de.. hahah aniting sms instead. thanks dear for comforting mi n pei mi tok on phone.. thanks.. =)
life's juz so weird.... memories can onli b memories.. can it b brought back? haiz.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
-2:54 PM
i'm feeling damn moody today.. shld say since ytd ba. wanted to swim but in the end i decided not to go, wanted to go shopping alone but in the end i decided not to go too.. wat the hell m i tinking sia. mayb i'll go np training ltr. at least i can go trainin, so long nv had training le. ytd caoch told mi to resume training. so i msg all of them tat there's training on sat. yay~~! there's trainin.. =) can we b the same again? dun dare to tink. so kelian pekpek they all 5... they had to cum for trainin despite their quan yan's training. so sorri i cant help u all...
dear's bro had dengue fever sia.. prays that dear's ok. take care pls..
ok i tink i end here. juz dun feel like toking n typin.. =) sorri let u all worri abt mi. i'll b ok de. dun worri.. =) jia u gals for all ur youth cup.. i'll b there to support u all de. jia u.
Monday, May 15, 2006
-9:45 PM
mayb all of u might tink i m crazy, then dun look at my blog.. i had a sudden urge to end my life for juz this instant. i'm so sick of my life.. so sick.. it's nearing 17th le but there's no news. i'm under tremenous stress.. mayb i'm juz stressing myself. i dunno how to let myself calm dwn. i'm so bored over my life. i needed someone by my side. Someone. Someone. i need some hug. i dunno how to tell others, so at least i still haf my blog here. =) thanks blog. it has been tired to always support ppl. mayb last life i m a baddie.. it's my retribution ba. i'm so lost n reali needed someone to guide mi. guide mi tru this darkness... mayb i shld see some physcologist.
i was tinkin thru my list of friends whu i can cried to.. n i found no1.. cos i dun feel like bothering them. all of u has ur own problems, own things to care abt... i''m scared to give them problems.. let them fan. i'm sorri i'm not a good frien to share problems.
wonderin wat i shld do tml.. juz dun wan to stay at home.. home juz make mi feel unhappi. nvm juz hope all of ur de weiyan will cum back.. =) i'll juz stay happi for now. i still need to support ppl de.. so for now i wont fall ba. hope so. end here le. dun feel like toking or typing le. mayb tml i'll juz shut off my phone for the whole day. those whu wans to find mi juz too bad.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
-1:25 AM
Today woke up with a scare... had dreams... dreams isnt my cup of tea.. i always seldom has dreams.. when i haf it's either someting bad goin to happen or smth else.. feeling weird... i dreamt i m ill... dwn with some kind of incurable illness.. was damn weak but i told no1.. then i was like following all of my friens walking n walking a long journey n i was getting weaker n weaker but no1 realise.. ok was like wat m i dream la.. wat is tis dream trying to imply? mayb i shld tink so much.. lucky it's not cramp n nightmare cos when tis always happen i'll get sprain ankle. duno is coincident or wat but it's like always. never fail...
woke up frm tt dream finalli... n there was a relief.. i m ok.. =) it's good to b healthy~!! did my house chores which i promise mom to do.. aft tt rush to the clementi town meeting.. stupid la.. it was a meeting tat tell coaches n instructors on the sch's vision all tt.. -to aspire n grow... diaozed la... then ask questions frm others.. i'm like the smallest inside.. so paiseh la.. aft tt took mrt home.. reached chinese garden n i decide to go hke find bear they all to play bb.. was playing n laughing like hell.. but none as playing serious at all.. but at least i can feel myself jumping n "flying" today!! hahaha dear say i wont b able to tml... idiot la.. i'll make her see my "flying" again!! * u watch n see!! still ask mi hug tree!!! =P* playing till ard 7pm then i went back home .. slack n watch tv till now.. bored.. my com isnt doin fine.. juz now b4 i could use properly.. it juz auto shut off, the nxt moment was no internet, den it was asking mi to close my msn.. n said my msn was corrupted.. damn la.. no hope liao la this com.. need to reformat soon i tink.. got to save extra copies of all my stuff to a thumbdrive or wat ba... =)
tml will b my exculsive workout day again... hahaha tink i goin swim alone again at geylang.. then meet dear aft her class then go meet pekpek play ball ba... hahaha.. i wan b more slim n fitter!!! cos i tink i fat liao! has been eating damn alot recently la... i m 55kg liao!!! goin to slim till 50kg.. tt's my target!! hahahahaa so sad la.. tt's for today i tink.. =) smile!!
juz pray tt my entry to NIE will b approved ba.. haiz.. **prays**. good luck and jia u for all my frens in their exams! JIA U~!!!
smilez. =10o4=
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
-4:48 PM
Today woke up ard 9pm to wash up n prepare to go swimming.. never went swimming alone so this is actuali my first time.. took bus alone. on the bus, memories of all the school days juz came like a storm.. both sad and happi times.. i really miss those days. i'm no longer schooling le.. consider adult liao.. saw lots of secondary schools kid, i reali did admire them.. i wish i never did grow up.. =) reach bus stop which is my sec sch's bus stop.. every ting juz seem not to change except the faces of the sec sch kids.. walk to the swimmming complex. Got change and set off to my swimming session. Swam about 18 times the length of the pool which is 9 laps rite? hahaha first time i swam so much. everytime go with pekpek nv swim de.. always tok onli so today i reali did SWAM!! hahaha.. Eyes of those pervert ppl were looking from time to time.. i hate them la. wat's wrong?! haha. Went to bath and set off to meet kexin for lunch at jp. ate long john silver.. wa kao so sinful sia. chat abit then went to walk ard. so sad.. there's so much tings to buy but i got no money$$!! no choice.. aft tt went home n did my new blog skin. love the lime green n black combination! chat with dear awhile on phone n she went to sleep le. piggeeee! =P hahaha Dun make mi call u ** *** *** hahahha oops.. dun kill mi... =P ok.. now goin off le.. goin back to ngee ann.. bball meeting cum gathering.. so go there play abit of bb with them ba.. aniwae i oso miss them.. O-O got to go liao.. bye. i'll improve more on my blog... hehehe