lifesong
Everyone needs compassion
And love that never fails
Let mercy fall on me
When everyone needs forgiveness
Kindness of the Saviour
The Hope of the nation
Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything that i believe in
Now i surrender
Shine a light in and
let the whole world see
Singing, for the glory of the risen king
Jesus, Shine a light and
let the whole world see
Singing for the glory of the risen king
Thursday, January 17, 2008
-11:17 AM
..End of the Chapter for this blog..
..I shall start another blog..
new blog, new life. haha
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
-4:44 PM
Today then i noe the reasons for coach not to come the las match.. he was admitted to the hospital.. i felt so guilty. cos we did blame him for not coming tt we lost. Cos all of us believe that if he's coaching us tt day.. we'll win for sure...But i'm sorri.. we didnt noe n we lost tt match.. making us unable to proceed and get our 3rd position. But aft knowing this, the fire of mi n ah qin came stronger! Not onli we'll do our best tml, we'll win!!!! n we MUST! no matter wat, we'll nv gif up.. even without coach! We must jia u! HKN will nv fall like tt! I'll be a total different person tml! i promise!
Let's do it again gals... JIA U!
*prays- may all my teammates be well n play well tml.. we must win.. we must do our best...*
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
-6:05 PM
Been like 1 month since i last blogged... Was busy with work... Stressed up with work.. aft tt entering nov was more chaotic.. Work n women's open made mi even more tiring.. physically n mentally drained out. We are doin pretty fine in the 1st round..tho we lost to aljunied. Was being trashed by them... and the worst ting is tt the nxt day we are against nayang alumni. It was totally great tt we manage to suppress them n won.. 2nd round was not as smooth sailing as we thought it will be.. we lost of 1st 2 matches.. Ling yun n T-net. everyone tot we would win but it turns out to be another way round. Feelin devasted... the feeling of helplessness on the bench when ur teammates is fighting on the court n struggling.. i was looking at the stock clock.. the time just pass... then beeepppp.... end of the game.. we lost.. I'm sorry i walked away.. i'm sorry i left u guys when all of u are sad. but i couldnt take it.. this time, i didnt cry at all.. just no tears.. i just stoned... was it mi? why my team always haf this fate? why? It must be mi... I could feel alot of them will be leaving the team aft this season.. then hkn will be back to square 1 again.. the tot of asking ppl to stay, the tot of having new teammates again make mi so tired. It's always like tt.. ppl has been telling mi- come back again nxt yr... but my answer to them will be.. i duno whether i could tahan till nxt yr with my current condition..i dunno if my team will split again.. i dunno hw to get tt medal animore. Everyone gave mi faith tt we'll get it this yr.. but the dream seems totally far away.. totally.. i dunno i duno..
But dun worri gals... as long as the season hasnt end.. i'll still be in the team fighting.. cos i reali love u gals. i just hope this season will nv end cos i want us to stay as a team..
=(
Friday, October 05, 2007
-10:13 AM
Passion for ball is one ting, whether u could play it well is another ting. I had tis great passion for bb when i was 12. It started all bcos of a guy. We form up a team n played for the sch. we got third although there's onli 4 teams in total. My captain was the famous Sarah Lim from aes then. It was her whu encouraged all of us n inspired mi to play. I got so hooked up on balls n played almost everyday. Disappointment sets in when i went to secondary sch bcos there's no basketball team. But it was then formed when i was sec 2. I'm one of the pioneer batch. Tis was where i found the most wonderful teammates. we went tru thin n thick tgt. We aint strong at all but we r united.. We train hard tgt n i love them. May it's fated abt my life or it's trying to tell mi tt i'm not talented for basketball... b4 the selection during sec 2.. i broke my arm.. i didnt managed to play and i became a assisant coach then. sec 3, there's not enuff B gals so we got to wait for the C's to turn B's. So sec 4 which is my last yr of west zone n oso my first yr. Dun u tink it's kinda of suay?.... We lost to hua yi sec and we fail to enter top 4. We are juz a step away. I cried so bad then Ms chua told jo.. it's alrite u'll haf nxt yr.. then i cried even more.. I haf no nxt yr! Everyting juz dun go the way i wanted.. my coach told mi he'll open a youth team for us..so i wasted 1 yr waiting. I didnt mind at all cos i wanted to play with the same team again. It was my first n last youth cup when i started playing. It's alwasys first n last. Aft tt.. we struggled in the team... my teammates left mi... slowly all of them.. including jo. Jo was the last to leave.. she was there always for mi.. thanks mei. oh to mention, women's open i haf onli play once. haha cos i waited again when all of them were in youth cup.. So if u tink i'm v experience or skilled.. u're wrong.. i'm not.. I've played lesser than anione of u out there. I spend my whole life juz waiting... this current team told mi they'll realised my dream.. to get my first trophy.. they promised n some broke their promise.. I juz feel sad.. depressed... we left 10 ppl in our team rite now. ytd i had quarallel with some of them during the game. To mi i feel tt i m right cos it's discipline. But to them it's embarassment to shout during the game. The way they say mi ytd gave mi a big tight slap in my face. I've woke up. n i noe i've replied harshly too.
I felt i m no longer needed in the team animore. I couldnt contribute at all. No matter hw hard i try, i'm still like tt... i couldnt play well at all. All my yrs of bb i'm trying to overcome myself and try to improve to a better player.. but i couldnt. I didnt improve n yet i de-proved. The way i played juz pissed ppl off. I couldnt get rebounds n i couldnt score. During past few trainings, I've tried to shoot.. I juz missed the hell out of mi. Every ball juz wont went it. My shootings sucks a big hell time. I've tried to stay optimistic but i couldnt animore. I'm juz lying to myself. I cant play ball n this is the truth. HQ ytd msg mi n told mi not to give up but i was the one whu encourage her n she bcum like tis.. But HQ... I've tried for 8 yrs.. I've stay optimistic for 8 yrs.. i've been lying to myself for 8 yrs... I'm still like tt.. tell mi how.. tell mi wat i can do? train? I've train harder than ani1 out there..but.. i'm still like tt. wat can i do? Now i haf to tolerate the shits that the coach gave.. Wat is he to mi? why do i haf to tolerate all that? I had enuff of him.. I'm breaking dwn.. i'm goin insane. why play ball when it's so xinku? why play ball when u haf tried 8 yrs n it didnt work. Passion just died totally. I tot i wont bear to stop balling.. but aft ytd.. everyting's clear.. v clear... wat jew say is true.. It'll nv be the same animore... Why pursue so long when it like tt.. I'm stubborn n i pursue.. but now i realised i shldnt. I'm tired gals. I'm tinking not to attend training on sat. i dunno. Can someone juz clear the shit n not leave it for mi to clear everytime? wat m i to all of u? coach created mi n destroys mi. U're juz selfish.
I juz wan to play kai le de lan qiu.. =(
Everyting juz went wrong.. sometimes i reali hate my parents. i m totally dwn n it make it worst aft quaralleling wif my mom this morning.She juz making a fuss.. I m so angry. They onli tink sis is the best.. the most capable one. Dad even says someting like my job is shui bian. cos he tink sis's job is so tiring.. If u tink she's great then ask her support u 2!! She hasnt gave ani home allowance yet! I'm the one helping u all all the time! She's always the great juz bcos she's uni grad. so wat?? I could do even better if i m given a chance to study! RMB it's u whu told mi u aint able to provide mi n when provided sis... n u told mi u got to provide bro. wat the fuck is this. n u even ask mi to cum out to work to help. I wanted to study uni so much. But u juz told mi u cant. To u all.. u juz tink my results are bad. In fact i m not.. i juz didnt want to tell u all tt's all. To all of u, i'm the worst in the family. Ya fine then ask them to help u .. ask them to cum out to work when they haf the capability to study uni!! I had enuff!!!!
My life juz sucks..
Thanks jew, jo, CH n HQ n janice for consolling mi.. But i'm juz too dwn.. Thanks.. Thanks jew.. i m touched by the msg u sent mi.. thanks alot alot....
Thursday, October 04, 2007
-3:17 PM
Life has been sweet for the month of sep.. every ting juz went as smooth.. went np chalet and it was super fun.. went out.. went run pandan reservoir.. oh was amazed tt i stil could cum back at 37:37mins! I tot i was lousy already compared to secondary sch but apparently i was alittle slower onli! At least i came bac with 30plus mins! haha.. Started Majong craze again. haha wanted to play more! BEar Jio mi MORE!!! haha Juz started a sucky month of oct! Tues, tt ass called mi and screw mi! I'm freaking irritated by him! He juz let the volcano erupt! i reali had enuff of him. Why would someone treat someone so bad? As in when tt person is no longer "use-able" by him animore, he/she will get dumped aside! Freaking fed up! For like 8 yrs.. yes 8 yrs!!! i believe i'm his most obedient player.. but he didnt appreciate mi at all.. I haf my ego too. i'm not ur slaves or someone u could scold as u wish.. I dun own u my life! He dun trust a single shit ppl.. even the 8 yrs player.. Been tru so much.. help him so much.. but yet he gave mi all this freaking shit scoldings over n over! I'm no longer tt small lil gal whu listens to u... I'm already an adult whu has her own tinking.. I'm sick and tired.. Freaking tired. Wat did i do to recieve this kind of treatment? tell mi wat exactly!! OMG... This sat, he's holding a meeting.. a meeting again! OMG.. If he reali say mi again or shld i say scold during the trainin.. i'll b gone! gone frm e team forever! Wat the hell is wrong with him! I'll definately go! i swear!.. i wan get away frm tt monster! tt old monster!
Ltr frenly with np.. i'm glad there no coach! hope i can enjoy n hope nobody gets injured cos IVP is cuming.. JIA U everyone! huggs...
I've realised.. realised...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
-2:35 PM
Had a wonderful bday celebrations @ aranda with all my friends and mates! I m very touched by all those tt u all haf done. thanks alot alot! Love ya! Here's the pics @ Aranda!
Flowers from dear
Flowers from jew, jo, rach and ah boi (np mates)
Dear and mi in chalet
Dear, jo n me!
see how engrossed is bear bear!
